Stuff On Hills?

As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: “What’s that stuff on those hills?” “Just snow,” replied the stewardess. “That’s what I thought,” said the lady, “but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece.”

 

OverHeard -- Three Wishes

overheard my husband and his friend speaking I wanted an Economist in kitchen, artist in home and devil in bed. All I got is, ARTIST in kitchen, DEVIL in home and ECONOMIST in bed

 

Slogan - Sleep

My seven year old’s suggestion for new slogans to help increase traffic awereness is Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

 

Dog in Backyard

Me and My husband Jim were excited when neighbours moved into the next house. To our badluck, they bought a dog with them which always barks in the mid of the night and disturbs our sleep. One day, after midnight, Jim said “I had enough of this” and went out When he came back, he was bleaming with pride though the dog was still barking. The next morning I found […]

 

His Hair Is Gone

Conversation between me and my friend Me: Nice locket, where did you buy it? Friend: No, I ordered it. It has my husband’s hair in it. A soveneir Me: A sovenier? Your husband is still here why then? Friend: His hair is gone.

 

Surprise her

One day, a customer came to my shop and bought a bathroom scale. He wanted it gift-wrapped and wanted the label to say “Happy Birthday Honey” When I enquired, he says, “My wife’s birthday is nearby and she wants a sportscar. She hinted at it saying I want somthing that goes from 0 to 170 in 3 seconds. This is gonna be a big surprise for her”

 

Bye Daddy

During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia. As I was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher, was holding on to my leg and pleading with me not to leave. “No, Daddy, please don’t go!” he kept repeating. We were beginning to make a scene when my wife, desperate to calm him, said, “Let Daddy go and I’ll take you to get […]

 

Joke I have heard

First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”

 

Safety Award - Reporting Fires

We are a bunch of scientist at an arms factory are are involved in testing a new kind of flare for the army. In the past three weeks, atleast half a dozen fires broke out during the tests due to faulty flares. The irony of the situation is, I am going to get a medal next week, for being most vigilant in reporting fires

 

HEALTH FOOD

Regulations say, that every delivary to my son in NCC camp,  be labelled in large letters . He then went from camp to camp in search of his dream. One day, to encourage him, I sent him a box full of home-made extra sweet cookies with the lable “COOKIES”. He never got them. The next lot was labelled “HEALTH FOOD” The package was delievered the first thing in the morning