Surprise her

One day, a customer came to my shop and bought a bathroom scale. He wanted it gift-wrapped and wanted the label to say “Happy Birthday Honey” When I enquired, he says, “My wife’s birthday is nearby and she wants a sportscar. She hinted at it saying I want somthing that goes from 0 to 170 in 3 seconds. This is gonna be a big surprise for her”

 

Its On your head

After being issued basic combat training equipment, we were warned that gas masks were frequently lost, and that we would be charged $65 for a replacement. Determined not to lose mine, I developed the habit of hitting its case with my elbow as we marched, to ensure that the mask was safely inside. Near the end of training, we made a final check of our masks before ascending to the […]

 

Creepy Field

Yesterday my car broke down in the middle of nowhere, with no cell phone reception.  I was stuck by a creepy field for 5 hours until someone else drove by.  Kool story, bro.

 

Rejection

I finally told a guy I liked him through messaging online, he replied but acted like I wrote something entirely different. I guess he id not feel the same way..